Thursday, October 9, 11:12pm est

Going back to the ice feels different than last time. This year the group is much smaller, we don't have that one drunk girl demanding everyone's attention, and I find myself much more apprehensive than last year. My excitement and anticipation is not as overwhelming as it was last year. Last season, I believe, I was so anxious to learn what this Antarctica thing was all about and completely entranced by the entire process that any fears, concerns, worries, etc took a back seat to the novelty of the experience. This year, with novelty and anticipation lessened, I am thinking more about the upcoming hardships. I wonder if I have gotten myself in over my head with the new job, if my expectations of this season are too grounded in last year's experience. I worry what Alex's experience will be like, and to what degree our time on the ice is dependent upon each other's experience. I wonder if I will put on as much weight as I did last year, if I will get enough time to myself and what I am failing to expect.