12 december 2009

Hello Olgeta! Lucas hemi no harem gud--hem i stap nomo from se bel blong hem i soa lelebet. (I said: hello everyone! Lucas does not feel good--he's just being right now because his stomach doesn't feel good). Today I wanted to write a little about the process of integrating into the community--which is our goal for the first three-six months as a peace corps volunteer. "Integration" is awkward. I mean, it's really, really awkward. It's a lot of standing around and getting stared at. It's a lot of people laughing at you so hard that tears come out of their eyes (Ni-Vans are pretty emotive, but still!), it's a lot of uncomfortable silences and staying at a place even if you'd rather be anywhere else on earth but that one spot...it's really, really awkward. One day, I couldn't take it anymore and I told Lucas I couldn't take it...he, in his wisdom, said " Soon, they'll get tired of staring or you'll stop caring...one is bound to happen sooner or later!" He's right.

So today, We spent the day at the dispensary. Lucas helped with the house and I went to story (talk) with Helen, my boss. I really like Helen-- we get along well and we're actually becoming friends. She's six months pregnant and today was a rainy wet day and she was especially tired. She went to lie down for a bit and fell asleep while I worked on a report for Peace Corps. It was really nice that we both felt comfortable enough with each other that we could do parallel activities without it being awkward...Later, she was telling me a story about her pig,whitey, and we both laughed so hard we cried...slowly but surely this place is becoming more and more familiar.

After the dispensary, we came back to our village where there is a 100 day dead ceremony for my papa's aunt. In Vanuatu, people mark time after a person dies by the whole family getting together and sharing an elaborate meal--often a pig. There are different special days, but the 100 days is the most special--as it is the last time that person is remembered and usually a whole day affair culminating with a meal and the men drinking kava at the nakamal (a nakamal is a gathering place). The nakamal is a big enclosed building with a BIG cooking area, benches, and a special place in the back for men only. Men go there to story and drink kava. The nakamal has an area for women and kids, too.

Anyways, so Lucas and I come back from the dispensary and we know we have to go to the nakamal...Lucas goes to lie down and doesn't feel good at all so I have to go by myself. Unlike my husband, I have learned that I have a very low tolerance for awkward. I gave myself the usual pep talk which goes something like "no one has ever died before from feeling awkward" and walked through the rain as bravely as I could and lingered awkwardly outside the nakamal having a conversation with Lucas' papa. I look inside and there's lots of women and kids I recognize speaking in local dialect. I muster up some courage, spot my mama and go sit next to her. We story and I start to feel more and more comfortable (but it's still really awkward)...It's late and the men are in the back drinking kava so all the women and kids are supposed to talk quietly to respect them. Anyways, so one of the things I love about Vanuatu is that you have ooooodles of family, which means a lot to an only child of immigrant parents. One of my aunties pointed to half the kids in the nakamal and said that they were my nephews and neices and I, in a loud voice said, oh that's so great--i've always wanted a big family!...and all the kids laughed and all the mama's laughed...and then my papa talked strong to me because I was disrupting the men's quiet kava space and suggested I go home...So my mama walked me home and we laughed a little bit...but it felt bad...:Lucas reminds me that it's okay...people know we're not from around these parts and are still learning...and in a way, it might not be that bad that my papa felt comfortable enough to tell me to lower my voice and go home...for a minute he really felt like my papa (even if I am older than him!)...So that's a brief snap shot of the highs and lows of being a peace corps volunteer--Sometimes it's magic and amazing and sometimes it's alienating and lonesome. But overall, I'm really happy to be here, especially with Lucas.